Memory
by Dying Lights
Summary: All Akashi wanted was to get rid of the painful memories of what he had done. But nothing is ever that easy. (For Akakuro week 2015 Day 5: HS!Akashi x Teikou!Kuroko. I came up with this, I'm sorry.)


Akashi Seijuro wanted nothing to remind him of his past. Like every person in this world, he wanted to erase everything that reminded him of his 'sins'. Namely, the things he did in his last year in Teikou.

And that meant, throwing away anything he kept from that time of his life.

And it was finally time to do that. It had been already two years since that period of his life ended, and he wanted to close that story once and for all, and forget all about it.

First, he found his uniform.

Second was the shogi board he used to play with Midorima.

Third was an album, filled with photos from that time, with his teammates, smiling at the camera.

And last was what seemed to be a book with a black leather cover.

He planned on burning them, but the book drew his attention. It felt somewhat familiar and, on closer inspection, he saw the name _Kuroko Tetsuya _engraved on it.

Of course. He had given it to Kuroko as gift. How it found its way back to him, he didn't remember.

He started leafing through it.

_Akashi-kun gifted this notebook to me. He said I can use it to keep track of my progress as I search for my answer to him. I don't understand why. It looks so expensive. I couldn't possibly accept it, but that'd be rude. Besides, Akashi-kun seems like the person to not accept no for an answer._

Akashi skipped some pages.

_Akashi-kun is really smart! Not only in sports and subjects, but he's also good at helping others understand when they have a problem with their studies. I asked for help, and he helped me. He's really amazing! He could be a good teacher in the future._

_Akashi-kun smiled when I thanked him for helping him. That smile suits a lot Akashi-kun. He should smile more._

The redhead smiled at the memory.

_I feel like Akashi-kun is flawless. Even Nijimura-sempai shows him much respect, and he always gets angry at Haizaki-kun. He never goes unnoticed and he's well-liked. I admire Akashi-kun, but I also feel a bit jealous of him. I wish I was more like Akashi-kun._

Seijuro shook his head disapprovingly. "Kuroko… At least people liked you, and still do, for being yourself." He muttered to no one but himself. "Wouldn't that be enough?" he added, moving through more of the pages.

_I think I'm in love._

_With Akashi-kun._

_It feels strange, but also right at the same time. I owe so much to him. I wonder when admiration changed to something different. I have no idea how, or why._

_But seeing him really makes me feel, I don't know, nice? I sometimes want to hug Akashi-kun and never let go._

"Then why didn't you, Kuroko?" he whispered, going to the last entry.

_Akashi-kun scares me._

_And that scares me. Akashi-kun used to be such a kind person! He rarely smiled, but it made those smiles even more beautiful and precious. But now, this new Akashi-kun… This Akashi-kun is cruel. He smiles at the others before crushing their dreams. Aomine-kun and Midorima-kun, even Murasakibara-kun, they do what Akashi says, and fear is visible in their eyes. They're scared about what Akashi-kun has become, but they can't say a thing._

_Where is the Akashi-kun that cared about his team? Where's the Akashi-kun that gave me a chance? Where's the Akashi-kun who liked helping others?_

_Where's the Akashi-kun I fell in love with?_

Those words, they hurt. It was as if he was stabbed in the heart, multiple times, yet it continued beating. He was like Prometheus, doomed to feel the pain, yet not being able to escape it. And Seijuro knew, maybe a little too well, that the pen is mightier that the sword.

He changed his mind. Instead, he decided to have someone deliver the journal back to his original owner.

Kuroko was surprised, naturally, when he received a small parcel. Opening it, the only thing there was an old journal. He didn't remember having this one, but the name written on it suggested otherwise.

There was also a photograph there, one taken by Momoi, during their second year's Nationals, with Akashi and Kuroko, smiling at each other and the camera.

And three little words written on the back of it.

_Forgive me, Kuroko._


End file.
